Getting Back to the Basics
You're scrolling through Instagram at 11 PM, watching someone's perfectly curated morning routine while you're in the same pair of sweats that you always put on, even though they have a stain from where you dropped some Pad Thai, wondering how everyone else seems to have their life together while you feel like you're stuck. You've read the self-help books, tried the productivity hacks, maybe even invested in that expensive course that promised to change everything. But here you are, still feeling like you're spinning your wheels.
Here's what we've learned after years of working with capable, ambitious women, who look like they have it all together to their friends and family but who feel stuck: the answer isn't usually found in the next shiny tool or revolutionary method.
We’re often chasing something new that will change everything but more often than not, we haven’t even taken care of the basics. Which is why today we're diving into why returning to foundational practices might be exactly what you need to break free from that frustrating cycle of feeling stuck.
How to get unstuck when you feel like you've tried everything
Especially when you're an overachiever, there's this tendency to focus on the next thing - the next tool, next mindset practice, next promotion, next income bracket, next coach you want to hire or level of achievement you want to hit. And the endless chase gives us something to focus on but often we're doing it hoping that this thing or that practice will be the one that helps.
And getting myself out of this rut hit me over the head with the reality that usually, when you're reaching for another new thing, what you really need most is to go back to the basics. The borderline mundane.
When we talk about going back to the basics, we're not talking about some Instagram-worthy morning routine that requires you to wake up at 5 AM and meditate for an hour. We're talking about the unsexy, borderline mundane habits that actually create the foundation for everything else in your life to work.
Think about it this way: you wouldn't try to build a house on a shaky foundation, right? But somehow, we expect ourselves to handle complex emotional situations, make big life decisions, and show up as our best selves when our basic needs aren't being met. It's like trying to run a marathon when you haven't been getting enough sleep or eating regularly. It's just not going to work.
The basics we're talking about are the things that help your mind and body interpret situations clearly, react appropriately, and bounce back when things don't go as planned. They're not targeting specific areas like your dating life or career, but they're making sure you have the mental and emotional capacity to handle whatever comes your way.
The foundation habits that actually matter
When we say "go back to the basics," what exactly are we talking about? These are the non-negotiable habits that create stability in your nervous system and give you the bandwidth to handle life's curveballs without completely falling apart.
First up, sleep. And we don't just mean getting eight hours (though that's important too). We mean having a consistent sleep schedule that your body can rely on. Going to bed and waking up at roughly the same time, even on weekends. Creating a wind-down routine that signals to your brain that it's time to rest. This isn't about perfection, it's about consistency.
Next, eating regularly. Notice we didn't say eating perfectly or following some complicated meal plan. We mean eating actual meals at regular intervals so your blood sugar isn't on a roller coaster all day. When you're hangry, everything feels harder than it needs to be. When you're properly nourished, you have the energy to think clearly and make decisions from a grounded place.
Movement is another basic that gets overlooked. You don't need to become a fitness influencer or train for a marathon. You just need to move your body regularly in ways that feel good. This could be a walk around the block, some gentle stretching, dancing in your kitchen, or yes, going to the gym if that's your thing. The point is to get your blood flowing and help your body process stress.
And finally, boundaries with technology. This one hits different because we live in a world where we're constantly connected. But having some basic boundaries around when and how you consume information can make a huge difference in your mental state. Maybe it's not checking your phone first thing in the morning, or putting it away an hour before bed, or taking breaks from social media when you notice it's making you feel worse about yourself.
Why we resist the basics (and why that's normal)
Here's the thing about basics: they're boring. They don't promise quick fixes or dramatic transformations. They don't come with before-and-after photos or testimonials about how someone's entire life changed in 30 days. And if you're someone who's used to achieving and excelling, the basics can feel almost insulting. Like, "I've already figured out the hard stuff, why do I need to focus on something so simple?"
But that's exactly why they work. The basics aren't about adding more to your plate or learning some new complicated system. They're about creating stability so that everything else becomes easier. When your foundation is solid, you have more capacity for the bigger challenges and decisions in your life.
We also resist the basics because they require consistency, not intensity. And if you're an overachiever, you might be more comfortable with going all-in on something for a short period than with showing up consistently over time. But here's what we've learned: consistency beats intensity every single time when it comes to creating lasting change.
Another reason we resist the basics is because they force us to slow down and pay attention to what we actually need, rather than what we think we should need. It's easier to buy another course or try another productivity method than it is to admit that maybe you just need to go to bed earlier or eat lunch at a reasonable time.
The ripple effect of getting your basics right
When you start prioritizing the foundational habits, something interesting happens. Everything else starts to feel more manageable. That decision you've been agonizing over becomes clearer. That conversation you've been avoiding feels less daunting. That project you've been procrastinating on suddenly seems doable.
This isn't magic, it's biology. When your basic needs are met, your nervous system can relax. When your nervous system is relaxed, you have access to the parts of your brain that handle complex thinking, emotional regulation, and creative problem-solving. When you're constantly running on empty, your brain is in survival mode, which makes everything feel harder than it needs to be.
We've seen this play out countless times with the women we talk to. Someone will come to us feeling completely overwhelmed by their dating life, convinced they need a complete overhaul of their approach to relationships. But when we dig deeper, we discover they're getting four hours of sleep a night, skipping meals, and scrolling dating apps until midnight. Once they start prioritizing sleep and eating regularly, suddenly they have the clarity to see what they actually want in a relationship and the confidence to go after it.
Or someone will feel stuck in their career, convinced they need to make a dramatic change or learn a completely new skill set. But when they start moving their body regularly and setting boundaries with work emails, they realize they actually love their job, they were just burned out. The basics gave them the space to see their situation clearly instead of through the lens of exhaustion.
Frequently asked questions
How long does it take to see results from focusing on the basics?
This varies from person to person, but most people start noticing small shifts within a week or two of consistently prioritizing their foundational habits. You might notice you're sleeping better, feeling less anxious, or having more energy. The bigger shifts in clarity and decision-making usually happen over the course of a few months.
What if I've tried focusing on the basics before and it didn't work?
Often when people say the basics "didn't work," it's because they tried to change everything at once or expected dramatic results immediately. Try picking just one basic habit to focus on for a few weeks before adding anything else. And remember, the goal isn't perfection, it's consistency.
How do I know which basics to prioritize first?
Start with whichever area feels most out of balance in your life right now. If you're exhausted all the time, start with sleep. If you're constantly hangry or your energy crashes in the afternoon, start with eating regularly. If you feel anxious or overwhelmed, start with movement or technology boundaries.
What if focusing on the basics feels selfish or like I'm not being productive enough?
This is such a common concern, especially for eldest daughters who are used to putting everyone else's needs first. But think about it this way: when you're running on empty, you can't show up fully for anyone, including yourself. Taking care of your basic needs isn't selfish, it's necessary for being able to contribute meaningfully to your relationships and work.
How do I stick with the basics when life gets busy or stressful?
This is when the basics become even more important, not less. When life gets chaotic, having these foundational habits in place gives you something stable to anchor to. Start small and be flexible. Maybe you can't do your full evening routine, but you can still put your phone away 30 minutes before bed. Maybe you can't cook a full meal, but you can make sure you eat something substantial.
The truth is, you can't ignore the basics and expect everything else to work smoothly. We know it's not as exciting as the latest productivity hack or mindset technique, but it's what actually works. And here's the beautiful thing about focusing on the basics: they don't just help you get unstuck, they help you stay unstuck. They create a foundation of resilience that serves you no matter what life throws your way.
So before you invest in another course or try another complicated system, ask yourself: how might you be making it harder for yourself to show up how you want to? What basic needs have you been ignoring in pursuit of more advanced solutions? Sometimes the most revolutionary thing you can do is take care of yourself in the most fundamental ways.
